Last night and this morning, I feel the presence of fear in my life. Being 36 weeks pregnant, I fear being able to balance taking care of a newborn and a toddler. I am fearful for our family's future...fearful of the unknown. I am fearful about the reality of having to care for my mother and possibly move her into our home.
This is not a fun feeling, and I know that it is not from God. Fear, to me, is also the absence of faith. My prayer for today is that I lean on God and that He would increase my faith in Him to direct our steps as a family. I pray that He gives me courage to face these uncertainties with a certain faith that, whatever happens, everything will be okay.
I mean if my brother and sister-in-law can have the courage to add two new children (simultaneously) into their family of 5, surely I can have the courage to face adding just one child to our family of 3. I KNOW that God will give us the strength, wisdom, and courage that we need to make this sort of adjustment.
God has provided for us in the past in terms of jobs, finances, etc., so why am I fearful now that our future holds some sort of "doom"?!
It won't be easy taking care of my mother, but she took care of me for 17 years...so, I think I owe her some respect. I will be there for her when she needs me...whatever that may mean! I am asking God to help me to see this as an opportunity to love and respect my mother in the way that she deserves instead of looking at it as a dreadful sacrifice our family will have to make. Don't get me wrong, there will be sacrifices that need to be made and inconveniences that will be experienced, but my mom needs me.
So, the goal for today is to knock out FEAR!! I will be meditating on God's truth, and seeking his guidance today. Thank you, Lord, for releasing some of that fear simply by writing out my thoughts! WOW, this blog has already been therapeutic for me and it's only my second day!!
