Change...

It is amazing to me how fast things can change in life. Our "baby" girl is now 2 years old and talking to me in complete sentences. Our little man is already 3 months old, smiling at me and cooing like crazy. We've been married for 4 wonderful years. It's almost fall when it seems like summer just started. However, the biggest change for the King family is yet to come. We have been in Tennessee for almost 4 years now, ministering to the teens at our church. We have loved every minute with them. They bring so much joy to our lives, and they have challenged us and taught us lessons that we will cherrish forever. Being with them has been what we've known for so long now. Well, last week (after much prayer, thought, and reflection) we decided to resign from the church. This is a HUGE leap of faith for our family. There are still a lot of "unknowns" for us. Neither of us will have jobs right away. We have to sell our house and find a new one. My mother will be moving in with us...yes, you read that right! We have to start all over! CHANGE...It's very hard! In this case, it takes courage and trust. We have to trust that God is going to take care of our teens...comfort them, provide a new leader for them, strengthen them, etc. We have to have courage to move to a brand new city (which is HUGE by the way) to be a part of a new church plant (which could fail or succeed). We have to trust that God is going to provide for us financially. We have to have courage to move my mom in with us because that will bring a whole host of challenges. However, we know that God is directing our path and leading us to something new and exciting. God never fails us, leaves us, or dissappoints. Change is hard, but I know that God will breathe new life into our family through this. The church that Jason's brother is starting, and that we plan to be a part of, aligns very well with both of our passions and gifts. There is a lot to look forward to, but we are experiencing some heartache as we leave our teens. Pray for us if you think of it.

Scared out of my mind...

Something happened this weekend that will forever be etched in my brain. We were at a staff pool party at our pastor's house yesterday. I would have enjoyed myself if it weren't for the fact that Elana needed a nap, Jason left early to set up for a youth group event, Josiah was needy, and I wasn't in the best of moods...but that wasn't even the worst part. I was standing by the steps of the pool while Elana sat below me. I honestly don't remember what I was doing or for how long....all I know is I had my head turned and all of a sudden I hear someone saying "Get her, get her, get her..." ELANA FELL IN!! She was laying flat on the surface of the water motionless. I immediately jumped in, grabbed her and pulled her out of the water. It seemed like it took forever to get her...almost like I was in slow motion. And it took her, what seemed like forever, to cough out the water and gasp for air. I was scared to out of my mind that she wouldn't be breathing when I pulled her out of that water. I immediately started crying and needed help getting her and I up the steps and out of the pool. I sat down by the deck holding onto Elana SO TIGHT!! I couldn't believe I let that happen. I felt like the WORST MOTHER IN THE WORLD!! Everyone there seemed so understanding, but I still felt horrible. After that, I was done!! We needed to go home! So, with some help from some GREAT people, we headed home. Elana was fine. This incident didn't even phase her. She actually wanted to get back in the water after I pulled her out, but that was NOT going to happen if I had anything to do with it! So, we got home and I put Elana down for a nap before we had to head to the church for youth group. I called Jason to tell him what happened. He answered, and I started sobbing!! I was a MESS! I couldn't shake it! I just kept thinking "how could you let this happen to your precious daugther...she could have drowned!!" Satan was on the prowl. He was so ready to defeat me, but with the help of my amazing husband, everyone at that party, and our sweet pastor's wife who called me to let me know that these things happen, I was able to see that I'm not the WORST mother in the world...I'm just a mother. A mother who makes mistakes. A mother who simply turned her head for a second while her daughter got a little too brave for her own good. A mother who is SO thankful for God's protective hand! PRAISE GOD Elana is okay and hasn't skipped a beat! Thank you to all who encouraged me and helped me through this!

Back to Work

I went back to work this week, and it has been very hard (as expected)! I miss my little man like crazy! I miss cuddling with him, playing with him, and just taking care of him. He is being well taken care of at the daycare at our church, but I still wish I could be at home with him (and Elana). Luckily, it has been busy at work, so that has helped to keep me distracted. I have pictures of both Elana and Josiah all over my office that I look at several times a day. That brings me so much joy when I start to feel sad! I can't wait to go home at the end of each day to hold and play with both of my babies. He is doing really well at daycare. The ladies there just rave about how sweet and good he is. He eats and sleeps good, so that puts my mind at ease.

Jason reminded me when he prayed for me my first day back, that our children are not really ours anyway. They are God's. I can't hold onto them too tightly!! It's hard, especially for mothers, to really grasp this concept. However, I do believe that we are simply stewards of God's creation. Part of being that steward is making sure their needs are met, and right now that means that I must work. Eventually, I would like to work just part-time, but right now that is just not possible. God is giving me the strength I need to handle being away from my children...it would happen eventually anyway once they start school.

Josiah doesn't go back to the doctor until the end of this month, so I don't know exactly what he weighs now. However, I guess he weighs about 9 lbs. by now. He is getting really long, too. He smiled at me for the first time August 1, 2008. It was so precious! He smiles a lot now.

Elana will be two August 29th! I can't believe it! She is growing and learning more and more each day. She is a smart and sassy little girl...I love it!!

Jason and I are more in love today than ever before. He is an amazing husband and father. I am so blessed. Well, that is about it for now. Blessings to all who read this!

Josiah Shaun

So, I am a little late getting this updated, but we've been a bit busy with our newly expanded family! Josiah Shaun arrived June 20th at 7:50 am. He weighed 7 lbs. 5 oz. and was 18 in. long. He is absolutely perfect! We think he looks a lot like Jason. We are adjusting fairly well to having two children instead of just one. We work well as a team taking care of our two babies.

I am learning all kinds of new things in this new phase in my life....so much that I can't begin to share it all here, but I will share some:

1) I am learning that no matter how insecure I am in my skills as a mother, God's confidence in me does not waiver. I am learning that he has equipped me to be a mother....a good mother. Am I perfect?? Absolutely not...I am actually humbled each day by how much I still have to learn. However, I am able to take care of our two children. I am able to teach them what they need to learn. I am able to love them more than I ever imagined I could. I am able to have the energy each day to keep up with all that Josiah and Elana need.
2) I am learning about some weaknesses I have as a wife and mother. I desire to be better than I was the day before. I do not want those weaknesses to be pushed to the side. I want to do more than recognize that I need to change....I want to change and improve! My children and husband are a great accountability system for me.
3) I am learning that I THOUGHT I was an organized person, but I really have so much to learn. I will be going back to work in just a week and a half. I will need to get myself ready, help get Josiah and Elana ready, and get out the door before 6:45 or 7:00 am each morning. I will have to plan and prepare ahead of time like I never did before. Preparing Josiah's meals, our family's dinners, outfits for the day, etc. is just the beginning. Jason and I will be depending on each other's help like never before, too....Go TEAM KING!!
4) I am leaning that Jason and I will need to be intentional in setting time aside for just us. We have got to put it on the calendar...at least once a month getting a babysitter so that we can go out would be ideal. I can see how easily we COULD grow apart. There is so much to do and take care of....and we just have two children so far. I don't want to neglect my husband...my best-friend!!
5) I am reminded of God's faithfulness and provision for his children. Just like our desire to provide for our own children, God desires to take care of us. In our finances, some MAJOR things have happened that proves that to me!! Who am I that he would bless me so! I am so thankful to you, God!!!

Well, that's it for now. I need to get off of here and do some laundry...surprise,surprise! I'll update you all more later. I will also hopefully get around to adding some pictures on here soon, too. Until then, blessings to you all!!

ONE WEEK LEFT!!!

It is so hard to believe that in one week we will be holding our son in our arms for the first time! I am so excited, scared, nervous, overwhelmed, and overjoyed all at the same time. YIKES! We can't wait to meet you, little buddy!

I am so humbled that God would place another one of His children in our hands to take care of for a season. It's hard to look at our children that way sometimes. I mean...we carry them in our bellies for 9 months and take care of their every need (and some of their wants) for 18 or so years after that. So, it would be easy to look at them as our children. However, I have learned that they are not mine. They are God's creations, and He has great plans for them that, for the most part, have nothing to do with me. So, my prayer is that God would continue to mold me into the mother that Elana and Josiah need in preparing them for what God has in store for their future.

On a completely different note, our Elana-boo has ANOTHER ear infection and has been moody and droopy the past few days. She even snuggled with me last night, which is so very rare these days!! I hate it when she is sick. I feel so bad for her that she has to endure the pain and discomfort of those darn ear infections. I pray that Josiah doesn't have as much trouble with his ears as Elana has with hers.

Well, I should get back to work. I only have 4 more days left at work, so I am excited about that. I am taking off the Thursday before we go in for the c-section so that I can rest. I am soooooooo looking forward to that!!! Blessings to all who read this! We'll keep you posted about our little guy!

NESTING

So, we only have 11 days until Josiah gets here, and I am nesting so bad!!! It's funny because I have all these things that I would like to get done and most of them have absolutely nothing to do with preparing for Josiah's arrival...they would just make me feel better and less stressed for some reason. Here are the projects we are hopefully going to tackle before next Friday: 1)Clean out the garage (DONE!!) 2) Work on cleaning up the landscapping (bought the stuff...now we just need to work on it) 3) clean off the roof and clean out the gutters (Jason is working on that today) 4) clean out closets (to be done in the evenings this week) 5) clean the blinds (to be done this weekend) 6) Bring baby stuff down from the attic that we will need (to be done this week or weekend) 7) clean the house (sometime next week) 8) Pack our stuff for the hospital (to be done this week or weekend). That's a lot of stuff, but Jason is doing a lot of it today on his day off...again, so thankful for all he does....and what doesn't get finish simply won't get finished. It won't be the end of the world (at least that is what I'm telling myself).

The idea of "nesting" is so funny, but it is so true. There is something in us "mama birds" that desires to do whatever it takes to make the "nest" perfect for the baby's arrival. Everything needs to have a place. Everything needs to be clean. Everything must be "perfect." Then, real life happens and the time, energy, and motivation to tackle big projects seems to disappear. It just doesn't seem important anymore to have a perfectly clean house or to stress out about blinds, gutters, etc. Everything stops and caring for that newborn baby (not to mention our sweet Elana) will be the priority. Don't get me wrong....it's not like after the baby is born I will never clean my house again or take care of those things that God has blessed us with...of course I will. It's just funny to me how God has created us and how things change from season to season.

4 AMAZING years!!

4 years ago today, I married my best friend! I don't get to spend a lot of time with the love of my life on our actual anniversary since he is at church camp, but that little rascal sure made the day special anyway. See, the camp is on the campus of the college and retirement community I work at. So, Jason, and his sneaky self, found a way into my office and decorated it with streamers, balloons (which Elana will enjoy later this evening), silly string, and a sign that said "Happy Anniversary" He also left a card and present for me, which was very thoughtful! I walked in and opened the door to my office and was SOOOO surprised. I felt so loved, appreciated, and special!! Eventhough we couldn't be together a lot today, he took the time to let me know that he was and would be thinking of me today. We will also take some time this weekend to celebrate, but on the actual day I couldn't have asked for more!!

Little did Jason know, that I had planned some similar surprises. I planned on planting several smaller gifts in the dorm where he was staying. One gift (fruit, flowers, and a note) he saw being transported to the dorm, and one gift he saw before it was even done (he came to see me at my office where I was putting together a plate of cookies and his card to take over to him)....oh well...it's the thought that counts, right? We always think alike...it's scary sometimes. Our cards that we got each other even said very similar things....too funny!!!

Anyway, as I look back on our friendship, dating experience, and our marriage thus far, I am amazed at how God ordained every step. I still sometimes look at him and think...I really have him in my life? He loves ME? We have 2 children? How can I be this lucky? Jason is such an amazing man, and he could have had any woman that he wanted. However, he chose me, and I do not take that lightly. I desire to serve, love, and respect him each day we are together!! He has been there for me during some of the darkest times in my life and some of the best times of my life. We've been through a lot together in just 4 years of marriage...nothing that has strained our marriage...just changes and challenges that have strengthened us as individuals and as a married couple! I truly thank God for Jason, and I look forward to seeing what God has in store for us in the years to come!

THANKFUL and ANXIOUS

After just one day without Jason around, I am keenly aware of how supportive and helpful he is when he is at home. Jason is hanging out with about 10 of our Sr. High teens at church camp this week, so it's just me and Elana. Of course, Elana decides she didn't want to sleep last night, so I had a 27 pound toddler flopping all over me several times last night. Elana does not normally sleep in our bed, but she woke up at 2:00 am (most likely a bad dream), and I was too tired to fight with her to get her to sleep in her bed. So, in our bed she came. She insisted on laying on my belly, which was VERY painful since I am VERY pregnant now! She kicked her poor little brother several times and smacked me in the face as well....not on purpose, but still... So, I am very tired this morning, and sore from holding and sleeping with Elana last night. Then, I had to get us ready and out the door on my own. I know, poor Sophie!! Woa is me!! However, Jason normally gets Elana up, dresses her, and occupies her while I finish getting ready, so I really missed that luxury this morning. I think I did pretty good by distracting her with Elmo and breakfast, but I was running super late!!

So, I am thankful for a husband who is SO HELPFUL! I am amazed at the strength and patience that single moms and dads must have in order to do what I did last night and this morning on a day-to-day basis!! I really have no right to complain since I do have such wonderful help 99% of the time. I will be relieved to have Jason back home on Friday, but I will survive! I know I can do it, and if I need a little help I know who to call!

On another note, Josiah will be here in just 17 days. I went to the doctor yesterday and he said that Josiah is growing, and if he were born today he would be just fine. I will go back to the doctor one more time next Tuesday. I can't believe it is June already! Josiah will be born this month...in just 2 1/2 weeks!! I am so excited and can't wait to meet our son!

I spoke with my mother last night and confirmed her plans for when she is coming down here. She will be here the day before Josiah's birth. I am taking that day off, so I am excited to just rest and enjoy time with my mom. My mother-in-law will be coming down the day of Josiah's birth, so were excited about that! We'll keep you posted! PRAY FOR US!!!

FEAR

Merriam-Webster states that "fear is the most general term and implies anxiety and usually loss of courage . dread usually adds the idea of intense reluctance to face or meet a person or situation and suggests aversion as well as anxiety "

Last night and this morning, I feel the presence of fear in my life. Being 36 weeks pregnant, I fear being able to balance taking care of a newborn and a toddler. I am fearful for our family's future...fearful of the unknown. I am fearful about the reality of having to care for my mother and possibly move her into our home.

This is not a fun feeling, and I know that it is not from God. Fear, to me, is also the absence of faith. My prayer for today is that I lean on God and that He would increase my faith in Him to direct our steps as a family. I pray that He gives me courage to face these uncertainties with a certain faith that, whatever happens, everything will be okay.

I mean if my brother and sister-in-law can have the courage to add two new children (simultaneously) into their family of 5, surely I can have the courage to face adding just one child to our family of 3. I KNOW that God will give us the strength, wisdom, and courage that we need to make this sort of adjustment.

God has provided for us in the past in terms of jobs, finances, etc., so why am I fearful now that our future holds some sort of "doom"?!

It won't be easy taking care of my mother, but she took care of me for 17 years...so, I think I owe her some respect. I will be there for her when she needs me...whatever that may mean! I am asking God to help me to see this as an opportunity to love and respect my mother in the way that she deserves instead of looking at it as a dreadful sacrifice our family will have to make. Don't get me wrong, there will be sacrifices that need to be made and inconveniences that will be experienced, but my mom needs me.

So, the goal for today is to knock out FEAR!! I will be meditating on God's truth, and seeking his guidance today. Thank you, Lord, for releasing some of that fear simply by writing out my thoughts! WOW, this blog has already been therapeutic for me and it's only my second day!!

We'll see how this goes...

Micah 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

This verse has been special to me since college, but it really came alive after we had our first child. This is the life verse we picked out for her. I desire to model that kind of life for Elana and for her to begin to live it out, too.

I am so new to this "blogging" thing, but I am kind of excited about it. I believe that it will be a way for me to process those day-to-day things that happen to me as a Christian woman, wife, mother, youth pastor's wife, social worker, etc. I look forward to sharing my journey with you.

My thoughts are just that...thoughts. I am not claiming to be super intelligent, to have all the answers, or to even know what the heck I am talking about at all. I just thought this might be kind of therapeutic for me. So, welcome to "My Micah 6:8 Life"